Happy Father’s Day everyone. Including those without kids of their own. Someone at some time has probably called you Daddy, Zaddy, Papi, or Big Poppa and the sexualization of parenthood combined with the fear of your own mortality makes you one creepy sexy dad.👨🏻
The Last Stop in the Bronx has gastro pub style Indian food. Tikka Masala Flatbread and Kati Rolls were amazing. 👍🏻
In preparation for Baldurs Gate 3 I am finally playing Divinity. Hoping to get @jemskee17 in on a co-op game. I’ll probably roll a Dwarf Ranger even though the Undead class is all the rage. See you guys in a year or so! 🐉🧙🏻♂️🔮⚔️ Thanks @xwilliammeex for the pro tip on the half off sale at the Microsoft Online store. @suitableconditions have you played this?
My brother and his son Josiah Benjamin Hamblin. ❤️ I hope this little guy likes Commander Keen as much as my childhood friends and I. May all of our insecurities and toxic pedagogy be bestowed upon you without restraint or consideration for your own self interests or the common good of man.
Celebrating the company’s merger with a few of the boys from accounting. Not the first time my drink caught fire after a long hard day at work exploiting the industrial proletariat. I didn’t sellout, I bought in. 🔥👨🏻
“Nothing changes from the Mueller Report. There was insufficient evidence and therefore, in our Country, a person is innocent. The case is closed! Thank you.” Tweeted POTUS. I wonder why his grasp of law has changed since the wrongful conviction of The Central Park Five after he spent thousands of dollars to take out full-page ads attacking young men not proven guilty.
🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 Corporal Dwayne Hicks was a member of the United States Colonial Marine Corps, part of 2nd Battalion Bravo Team. He was a member of the combat unit deployed to LV-426 aboard the USS Sulaco, to investigate the loss of contact with the colony of Hadley's Hope. Hicks was part of Second Squad's gun team, and was also the squad's leader and Motion Tracker operator. When the unit's commanding officer, Lieutenant Gorman, was incapacitated, Hicks took overall charge of the mission as the ranking Marine.
We attempted Fifty Shades drinking game. Eye rolls = drink. Lasted 20 minutes cuz it’s so fucking corny. Don’t need trauma for sexual deviancy. Get weird because you like it.
“All on Instagram, cake by the pound”🐝
“Fix your kitchen honey.”
This biiish just scored 97 points. Good luck with that @jemskee17 I don’t even play scrabble no more so I don’t know why you try so hard. Bye. 💁🏻♂️ 💅🏻 😭
@recesscoffee I thought you guys got on that CBD train and hit the big time. Your company is tops, don’t change a thing. These posers won’t get my money.
Props to @pigdestroyerofficial 🤰🏻🤰🏼🤰🏽🤰🏾🤰🏿 “Mother Teresa was not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. She said that suffering was a gift from God. She spent her life opposing the only known cure for poverty, which is the empowerment of women and the emancipation of them from a livestock version of compulsory reproduction.” - Christopher Hitchens
roflcopter 🚁 @theonion
Port Kenzingtown Philly🍹
Happy Mother’s Day. - Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed
Happy National Alien(s ) Day. Today we celebrate the USCSS Nostromo crews discovery of an endoparasitoid extraterrestrial species in response to a distress signal from nearby moon LV-426 on the way back to Earth following a commercial mining contract. 👨🏼🚀👽
Thanks @xwilliammeex for sending this to me.
“I’ve passed the point of no return. Do you know what that is, Beth? That’s the point in a journey where it’s longer to go back to the beginning. It’s like when those astronauts got in trouble. They were on the other side of the moon and were out of contact for like hours. Everybody waited to see if a bunch of dead guys in a can would pop out the other side. Well, that’s me. I’m on the other side of the moon now and everybody is going to have to wait until I pop out.”
I really just love audible. This book is great so far. Give it a try If you like porn involving the introgression of archaic human species. Also tomorrow April 10 at 9 am astronomers may be providing the first image of a black hole. Using the The Event Horizon telescope astronomers hope to observe two black holes at the center of our galaxy. One having the equivalent mass of 4.1 million suns and the other a rotund mass of 7 billion suns (just like your mom ). This takes place almost a century after Einstein observed stars askew in the heavens, connecting gravity to the warping of space and time through mass and energy, resulting in general relativity. Which has given us a foundation for countless technological advances since. The theory led to the notion that if too much matter and energy was concentrated in one place (like your mom ) space-time would collapse trapping matter and light giving birth to what we call a black hole. Google it. It’s pretty neat. 🕳
My Alma mater is on the news! Congrats for keeping it siiiick Temple. And congrats to my friends getting paid good money to vaccinate our grown ass kids on campus today. Shout out to the staff and students in the Weiss building. The lack of windows and brutalist architecture probably scared away any diseases so you should be safe. 🤙🏻🦉🔬🧬
Blood in, blood out.
Thanks Esther. Your god is dead but your pastries live on. 🥮
“My schedule for today lists a six-hour self-accusatory depression.” - Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep
blood, sweat, and beers.
“Don't let the little fuckers generation gap you” 🧠☕️💾
Happy Birthday @urbish_ Live easy and eat the cake 🎂🍰🎉
If one more of my friends recommends 12 Rules For Life Im going to take my corrupt, evil, banal self-help college educated ass and lock myself in a safe space until my bro Bernie shows up to swaddle me and dry my millennial tears. Seriously. Peterson is annoying. and he’s low key Christian. Don’t jock his shit. Just hate everyone equally.
Despite space agency Roscosmos expressed concern about the safety of SpaceX software, Dragon is greenlit for unmanned test on March 2nd. Did they regret high balling and failing to sell to Musk the USSR tech he was originally looking for, possibly catapulting him into developing his own (much better ) technology, and are now feeling the hurt? Is that? Is that what happened? Yeah, that’s what happened. Now he takes the straw - and he Drinks, Your milkshake! 🇺🇸🚀🥤
RIP Fam. 28 miles in 15 years. I hope the radiation gave you a rocking buzz and gnarly trip before the lights went out. 🤖🥂☀️
Not pictured, rad friends waxing politics, and chilling like dudes. Thanks for the hangs @wolflikemeow
This one sparks joy. 🙏🏻
Grateful for good wine. 🤘🏻🍷
A patriot drinking Dunkin’ Donuts, smoking a Parliament cigarette while riding a Ram. Hope your team wins everybody. 🇺🇸☕️🚬XLIII
Give me cardamom, or give me death. 🇮🇳🇺🇸